Crybaby

I'm a boy who cries a lot. I remember during my first day at school I cried a river when my mother left already. Although later on I was already used to be left at school but there were other reasons to ignite me to cry. When they fetch me late, I cry. When i fell on a seat i cry. When they tease me I cry.That's why I had a reputation of being sensitive at school so my classmates were so careful not to make me cry. I thought it will be good since no one will dare to harm me but as I grow i've started to realize how silly and humilating I was. Boys should not cry if you do it you show signs of weakness and will be called as Gay. I dont want that to happen so I started to be more cautious. In some situations that I felt like crying I forced not to. I want to be strong, but at home when I'm in bed and everyone is asleep I cry andI do without any sound, I don't want people to hear me cry. I'm weak I admit it. I just don't want to keep angst, frustrations and insecurities in my chest I want to let it out. Every shed of tear is equivalent to evry inch of pain I feel inside.

Now I'm 17 years old and still a crybaby. But no one sees it unlike before. I cry about anything that makes me feel bad. Whenever hear the phrase "Boys don't cry" I shudder and ask myself "Why?" Answer me...